Here is a picture of me, as I write, sitting on my under my loft-bed-frame-closet.
I got a little couchy-bed easy converter thing that fits underneath, and find that it's easy enough and worthwhile to pop the back up during the day. It's little, but MUCH better than actually sleeping on the loft bed, since the ceiling turned out to be way too low for such a thing. Really, I would have managed ok, but the problem was that I couldn't imagine inviting anyone else into such a ridiculously creaky/head-bumpy situation, and what's the point of a bed if I can't even imagine others in it? Especially since imagination is all I've got for the moment...
oh, heh. About that warning coming into the blog. Kind of hilarious. But I figured the last one was edging closer to talking directly about sex the longer it went on, and since that's the area of my self/life that seems to be changing the most these days, I might want to just come out and talk dirty sometimes. So, let that, and then this, be your warning, those of you who might not know this about me already: I enjoy a bit of raunch, and when I'm not getting laid regularly (like, say, now) it starts to seep out in other ways, like maybe onto teh internets.
It's wierd, because I imagine the primary readers of this blog will be the same chosen few as the last, but the transition of blog to go with home-place provides an opportunity for redefinition. Plus I'll probably pick up a few kids along the way, although I know at least one of them claims to never read blogs (hey friend, don't you owe me a phone call?).
Still, it's funny that I now have a breadcrumb trail of internet-expressions following behind me, after I resisted for so long, claiming to be too private a person. I suppose a couple of years of relative social isolation will do that to a girl.
Hence the title of this post - taken from an article in this week's nyt magazine, a steady friend if ever I have known one. Ambient awareness - the constant low-level input of friends' and acquaintances' lives via technology. I am all over the internet, and for a while now a serious majority of my social life has been conducted over little wires, or actually now that I think of it, wirelessly. What does that do to the quality of my social connections? Yes, I am spread more thin, to call most of my facebook connections "friends" is really a stretch, but then the constant facebook updating and tumblr pictures and g-chat status and other blogs, it makes me feel so much closer and more connected to the people I really love.
But then in other ways, it means that I rarely take the time to reach out and talk to them. There are a couple exceptions to this rule, of course, but mostly I find that the people I take the time to write to and call are those who are more absent from the internet. Peyton isn't on facebook, and she's the first person (ok, outside of des) that I called here.
Soon enough, if life follows my master plan, I will have real living flesh and blood type friends here, and my reliance on the internet (as well as my self-consciousness about it) will fade back to pre-leaving-portland levels. But then if that's the plan, why the hell am I starting a new blog?
