girls! girls! girls! poop! poop! poop!

Regarding the title, I think the later part has really been the striking theme of the past couple days... but I threw the girls in there for thrills. The rugby girls.

They are awesome, and out of control. I feel like I'm starting to hit my stride with the rugby coaching thing: I run a mean forwards practice, I have good ideas about what the team needs to work on and how I can help with it, I'm starting to get to know the girlies better (and them me), getting past my initial social awkwardness that comes along with all new situations, especially this particularly strange one where I showed up and volunteered to be in a leadership position over a bunch of people who know each other extremely well, and don't know me at all.

The awesomeness is just because. You know, awesomeness. The out of control is... well, this is by far the gayest rugby team I have ever encountered, and that's sayin something. I mean, there are literally maybe three or four people on the team - all rookies - who consider themselves straight, and only one of those who seems to stick with it when drunk. So it's this mess of 30-odd girls between 18-23, and everybody is sleeping with everybody else. Like, seriously. The two props, so it was revealed to me after one game, had both slept with the hooker (too easy) they were supporting in the past week. omg.

And they've finally gotten to know me well enough, and gotten drunk enough around me, to start inquiring - at times with attempts at subtlety, at other times straight out - whether or not I am queer, and basically scoping me out for inclusion in their mad sapphic sporty love fest. The number of times people "accidentally" grabbed my ass at a birthday party last night was hilarious. I am trying to maintain a responsible distance, but at the same time I'm a terrible flirt and some of them are too hot for me to pretend to ignore, so oh well. Gonna try not to make a mess.

...but where, oh where, you must be wondering, does the poop come in?!

ahh, with a rugby girl, of course! So one of them (I will admit, she is among the ones I cannot help but flirt with) has a bit of a reputation. For getting involved with lots of girls, thinking that she is clear about the casualness of those involvements, but apparently ending up with some crazy consequences. She has had, in the past, her car keyed, her room trashed, an ex arrested for harrasment, etc. I mean, damn.

So, anyways, I went over to her (and 7 other rugby players') house to get a ride to this party last night, and the house was all a-flutter over the most recent attack, which was ACTUALLY COMPLETELY INSANE. Like, restraining-order-is-in-the-works insane. This girl had come over to the house when nobody was home, broken in, trashed her room and broken a bunch of her things, then smeared shit all over her car, topping it off with a burning rag soaked in gasoline. And followed it all up with over 100 threatening text messages.

Fully premeditated shit smearing. It really happens, folks.

Anyways, the whole end point of the story is that the only other car in the house had a tail-light out, and having a bunch of pot on them they didn't want to risk getting pulled over on the way to the party, so it was eventually decided that we would drive over in the poop car.

Yes, folks, I rode in the poop car. In fact, I was riding shotgun, and the window right next to my face had a gigantic poop smear all over it. I absolutely could not turn my head to the right, and I absolutely could not stop laughing. What a party entrance, driving up in a car covered with human feces! Sooooooooo funny.

And then, less funny but equally gross, today outside our house the sewers seem to have exploded and there is horrifying poop water gushing up into our driveway and down into the rain sewer. I just can't get away from it!

Poop, people. It's everywhere.